Mother, or indeed anyone else

We all have quarrels with our mother. It is indeed a tough challenge for us not to give our mother even the slightest gesture of annoyance ‘UFF’ as Allah instructs. It’s very hard to restrain our emotions when an event or interaction with our mother triggers a past painful event (which we felt really hurt by). BUT Allah has told us that, with pain there is gain (verily! with hardship there is relief). On the road of life, we are guaranteed to experience hard times and pain. However, with every difficult experience that we get through, we come out as a much stronger person in every way. We have to have yaqeen in, that Allah does not put us in a difficult situation without giving us guidance and support.

With our mothers, there are several things we can do to stop having grudges against our mothers. When we feel our emotions resurfacing, we should immediately remember Allah and seek refuge in Him from the whispers that may compel us to disrespect our mothers. We need to try to give ourselves a few seconds to think about Allah, reflect, and breathe deeply before we quickly respond.

“when the devil whispers an idea to you, you shall seek refuge in God. He is the Hearer, the Omniscient.” 41:36
We should continue to pray to Allah that He gives us the strength to be patient, understanding in relating with our mother’s. Our number one priority is to please Allah and not to let the emotions of bitterness and animosity get in the way of growing our souls. We need to focus on developing the traits of righteousness that Allah advocates in the Quran.
We should eagerly race towards forgiveness from our Lord and a Paradise whose width encompasses the heavens and the earth; it awaits the righteous who give to charity during the good times, as well as the bad times. They are suppressors of anger, and pardoners of the people. Allah loves the charitable. Allah is encouraging the righteous to race towards forgiveness and an awesome paradise and He is informing us that the righteous are suppressors of anger and pardoners of the people. They forgive when they are angered. Allah is talking to you and me. It’s a small price to pay for such an amazing reward. We should think about this tradeoff whenever our feelings of anger towards our mother come out.

Allah informs us how to deal with an inappropriate response. Not equal is the good response and the bad response. We should resort to the nicest possible response. Thus, the one who used to be your enemy may become your best friend. None can attain this except those who steadfastly persevere. None can attain this except those who are extremely fortunate. Can you imagine how someone would feel if you responded kindly to an insult. Your response alone shows the other person how wrong they are for speaking with you in a bad manner and would cause them to reflect on their statements.

May Allah help us to strive to reform ourselves by following the guidance that He has blessed us with in the Quran so that we may attain His Rahmah. Ameen Walhamdulillah Rabb-il Alameen.